Currently Listening Elizabethtown By Original Soundtrack see related

she stands alone in an open room. though there is no furniture, no paintings, and no decorations of any kind, she still feels like she's suffocating, like the room is too small to accommodate her shallow breaths. the moment of truth is quickly approaching and she has no idea what she will do. she knows what needs to be done but she doesn't know if she has the strength to do it. and there it is, a knock on the door that rings out a sound so full and rich and deep. it is so startling that the very moment the sound reached her ears her whole body became paralyzed. she thought she was prepared to hear it. she thought she knew it was coming and that would somehow help. she thought that she would at least have the strength to stand. but she does not. she sinks down to the floor landing on both knees, eyes still glaring at the door. the moment had finally come and this is her response. she didn't quite prepare for what her body would do. deep in her mind she had landed in one of two scenarios. the first in which she opened the door. the second in which she heard the knock and ran fast away with every fiber of her being. she would have never guessed that she'd be frozen, lost in the battle taking place in her mind and her soul. she sat there for what seemed like hours, an endless black hole of time. her thoughts spinning in her head, her mind wrestling with angels and demons. finally, she's had enough. she awkwardly raises herself back to a standing posture, she takes a deep breath and beings to move, and to her surprise, away from the door.

Currently Reading Seven Practices of Effective Ministry By Andy Stanley, Lane Jones, Reggie Joiner see related

ever notice that people never ask you what religion you have but instead they ask you what religion you are. i don't know why but i think that's particularly interesting. what we believe is not something that our bodies ignore. everything we do and say is centered around who we are. we do not own our beliefs, in a way they own us, we adhere to them, believing them changes us, it does not change them. this is just a quick thought, i didn't put much time into it so please don't leave nasty comments saying how wrong i am. i usually figure it out in a couple of days, in which case i will post a retraction.

love changes people.

Currently Reading Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality By Donald Miller see related

do you ever have days when the world is crazy? like things just don't make sense. something in you is wrong or "out of whack." that is my day today. something is just....well, weird. i say things i don't mean or think. my thoughts, when they do come out, are like some mumbled and misunderstood foreign language. and i find myself asking the question "what is wrong with me?" but now that i stop and think about it...nothing. my last hour has been filled with rush-ness, self-inflicted pressure, and having to pee really badly. and where am i? "God's house." i'm at church, the place where my soul is being replenished and renewed. the place where i fellowship and worship with other believers. the place where i gain a little more perspective about myself in this tiny ball of water, land, air, and, consequently, 5 billion eternal souls. 

i just fed some fish. one  who's black and sometimes purple when the light catches him right and the other with fat, chubby, balloon-looking cheeks. it makes me happy, feeding fish.

currently

putting things in place.